How one mistake will stop you from achieving your goals (3 ways to stop that)

It’s now 2024 and the goals I set for myself a few months ago, have barely come to fruition.

I felt frustrated, disappointed, and angry at myself.

“Maybe I’m just not cut out for this.”

Hopelessness, self-doubt, and self-pity loomed over my mind, like a nasty storm-cloud.

I wasn’t sure what I’d do next.

Then it hit me.

I realised there’s only so much time during the day — My mind can only focus on a few things at once.

I noticed I’d made a TERRIBLE mistake in my goals.

There was at least 10 random goals from big goals to small goals in the month of December alone.

At least 10!

With so many things on my plate, I spread myself out too thin.

If you’re not careful, you’ll make the same mistake.

You will fail if you take on more than you can chew

“What’s your New Year’s Resolution?”

The new year is exciting because it presents an opportunity for a new clean slate.

“New year, new me.”

But this excitement is how we get too passionate and try to achieve too much in too little.

If you have too many priorities or too many goals, you will get nowhere.

Most people who dream big put too much on their plate in the beginning, then end up quitting because they couldn’t handle it all.

This is common, because most people lack patience.

We may do the hard work, but without patience, we move on too soon.

Without patience, we’ll always fall short of achieving results.

“Shiny object syndrome” gets you running around in circles.

There’s:

• 12 months

• 52 weeks

• 365 days

• 8,760 hours

• 525,600 minutes

In 1 year.

Eventually, this runs out — Time is never given back.

There’s only so many hours in the days, weeks, months, and years.

Real commitment, patience, and focus are required.

Perfection is achieved when there is nothing left to take away

Having fewer priorities narrows your focus, or your attention.

Our attention is being pulled by hundreds, if not thousands of stimuli throughout the day.

• On social media, you are bombarded by information about people’s lives, interesting stories, and products to buy

• IRL, there’s McDonald’s, Starbucks, KFC every 10 minutes

• Not only are there signs, there’s people who want your attention

The quality of your attention reflects the quality of your efforts.

Your attention is invaluable.

Less is more, not more ‘lesser goals.’

Lesser goals are:

• Instant pleasures like Netflix, junk food, video games, TikTok, porn

• Things you should be saying “no” to like unimportant meetings and people you don’t want to be around

• Procrastinating by doing random impulsive ideas instead of the hard work

The lesser goals are the daily, minutiae distractions that don’t contribute to your long-term goals.

Commit to your big goals, and un-commit to your lesser goals.

If you think Netflix, anime and movies aren’t that bad…

Here’s what happens when you watch them.

You start remembering and thinking about what you’re watched DAYS or WEEKS after you watched it.

Your mind starts trying to connect the dots on these movies/shows:

• “I wonder what’s going to happen next?”

• “Why didn’t he do X instead?”

• “I wanna be like that guy”

But what about connecting the dots for your goals?

When you filter out the noise, your attention is sharped and your focus will deepen.

Commit to and achieve your goals in 3 steps

1) Define your purpose & your desired future self

What is ‘your mountain?’

What are you working so hard towards that if you finally achieved it, you’d be ecstatic?

You don’t need to know your purpose (goal) right now.

Just work towards whatever you FEEL is your purpose.

Once you’ve actualised that contextual-purpose, you’ll find your next purpose.

Your purpose may have multiple priorities.

For example, every 5 years, Dr. Benjamin Hardy’s purpose consisted of 3 different priorities.

At age 22, he aimed to:

1. Get married

2. Finish college

3. Get into a Ph.D. Program

This was his sole focus until it was finished.

He didn’t know what he’d do next.

Hardy states “This purpose shouldn’t be beyond 10 years out. Even five years may be a stretch.”

For me, my contextual purpose for the next 3-5 years is:

1. $10,000 per month online

2. 99% reduced anxiety

3. 100,000 newsletter subscribers

Once you’ve clearly defined your purpose, you must clearly define your desired future self.

• Who do you want to become?

• What is your idealised version of yourself?

• Who do you NOT want to become?

• What is the worst version of yourself?

The more you know about your desired future self, the better you will move towards it.

2) Keep it simple with ‘no more than 3 priorities’

Less is more.

Simplify everything into no more than three priorities.

Structure your life according to this rule.

No more than three priorities per:

• Purpose

• 5 years

• 1 year

• 1 month

• 1 week

• 1 day

DO NOT get “busy.”

— Derek Sivers

Simplifying my life with no more than three priorities gave me insane clarity.

I feel like I finally understand what ‘clarity’ means.

There are now 3 goals each year, 3 goals each month, and 3 priorities each day for me to focus on by removing the 10+ lesser goals and taking the 3 biggest goals moving forward.

By removing the fluff, I now know what I must do.

Now there’s only the hard work and patience.

But that ain’t so easy if you think, act, and feel from your current and limited self.

“Being yourself” will sabotage your goals.

The more connected you are to your future self, the more committed you are to being your future self.

3) How to connect & commit to your future self

Your current self is sabotaging your future self

Your current self is limited.

If each day, you:

• Do the same old habits that keep you stuck in life

• See the same old people that make you feel bad

• Think the same old way that is self-sabotaging

You are living by the habits of your current self.

When we do the same things, see the same people, think the same ways for years on end, we condition the body to remember them so well that they become automatic.

It doesn’t require conscious effort, you just do it, it becomes an unconscious habit.

How you can escape ‘The Matrix’

Most people live their lives on autopilot and never break free from their unconscious conditioning.

They never escape the Matrix.

To stop being unconscious, you must become conscious, which is becoming aware.

Once you’re conscious (aware) of your life, you’re now in control, you’re now in the driver’s seat.

You have your own mind and make your own choices, regardless of what your body wants or feels.

If your body wants to eat junk food because it’s a familiar habit you’ve been doing for 20 years, you can override this unconscious programming and decide you’d rather reach your health goals.

You are the master of your body, rather than the servant.

Mindfulness meditation is the first step.

Instead of focusing on the breath like usual, I’ve started doing a body-scan meditation each morning and night.

Here’s the meditation I use on YouTube:

How you can win against the greatest battle of your life

Each day, we have a battle with ourselves.

Do you take:

• The path of least resistance

• Or the path that leads to growth?

Will you yield to lesser goals, or move towards the mountain?

When you find yourself in this predicament, as is the nature of life…

Ask yourself:

When you find yourself struggling to make the right choice…

• Do it for your future self 90 days from now or

• Imagine your desired future self 20 years from now.

How would he think, act, and feel?

Would he be struggling with bad habits, procrastination, or feeling sorry for himself?

Of course not!

He’d say “F*CK THAT!”

You’ve been blessed to discover self-improvement and read this article and many other resources.

If you stay on track, your future self in 20 years CANNOT be anything less than yourself.

It’s impossible.

How to bring your future self into the present

Manifestation is real.

You don’t need to know the logistics.

Just know this:

• The nervous system doesn’t know the difference between imagination and reality.

When we have anxious thoughts, we feel the anxiety in our body.

We don’t like the feeling of anxiety, and this leads to even more anxious thoughts.

“What if they see how nervous I am?”

Imagination therefore, is a powerful tool to connect to your desired future self.

Imagine your desired future self in his daily life:

• What he thinks of

• How he behaves

• How he feels

The more vivid and detailed the imagination, the more connected you are with your future self.

How vivid your imagination is allows you to better FEEL your future self’s emotions.

How does he feel when he:

• Has become the man of his dreams

• Achieves his purpose or long-term goal

• Has abundance in money, health, relationships

What are you seeing, hearing, touching, smelling, or even tasting?

Imagine specific scenarios where you feel GRATITUDE.

“You have to really feel the emotions of your future” in the present moment.

“What do you believe you’re worthy to receive? Can you teach your body emotionally what it will feel like to receive what it is you want before it happens?”

The stronger the emotions, the better your body will remember that scenario, the more you become your future self.

When you truly want something:

• Meditate

• Visualise the desire as already yours

• Pray (express gratitude) until your body knows it’s yours

When you think FROM your future self, rather than TOWARD your future self, you’re bringing him into the present and becoming him.

Sounds crazy, I know.

But it’s legit, and requires practice and patience.

Imagination is a skill that declines in adults, so don’t be discouraged if it’s difficult at first.

You’ll get better at it.

Be your future self NOW.

— Henry

If you liked this article, be sure to share it and follow me on X where I give more insight.

Much love,

Laters.